LGBTQ+ Voices: Freedom to be Breanna & Narissa

When Breanna Diaz was in high school, her home state of Texas amended its state constitution to ban same-sex marriage. Two years later, Florida, where Narissa Rahaman was growing up, did the same thing.

Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark Supreme Court decision that legalizes same-sex marriage nationwide, overrode those bans in 2015. But Texas’ and Florida’s bans stayed on the books – and so did a ban in the state where Breanna and Narissa would one day move in together and get married: Virginia.

Today, they’re hard at work on finally removing that outdated amendment banning same-sex marriage from Virginia’s Constitution. Their love story is the perfect marriage of their passion for equality, advocacy, and community.

Narissa is now the executive director of Equality Virginia, which advocates and organizes to build a future where all queer people thrive.

Breanna is a senior policy counsel for ACLU National, working with state-level advocates to push back against anti-trans legislation across the country – including Virginia.

Narissa: We were both working at a national LGBTQ organization. Bre was on a policy team. I was on a campaign/organizing team. My boss said that we should connect because we all seemed to have the same sense of humor. We started as friends. We became best friends. From best friends, we became partners.

All of the things we’ve done might seem out of order to other people: We got a dog first, then we got a house, then we got engaged. But, for us, we’ve always known we will be each other’s best friend. When I am with Breanna, I can fully be myself, including the weird parts and personality. I can let my guard down and just be who I am.

Breanna: I am someone who takes time to fall in love with somebody. It was really natural with Narissa. She is the first person I text, the first person I call. She knows everything about me, through and through. She’s my home. She’s my best friend. She’s the person I’d like to build my life with. I just couldn’t imagine living my life with anybody else.

Narissa: My job demanded that I be in Richmond for at least six months. We decided to move down here for a year, take a break from D.C. But when we came down here, the pandemic hit and we decided not to move back. We discovered that we really like Richmond – the people, a slower life here, and a sense of community. It’s a really queer city itself with great food and local businesses. We just really fell in love with Richmond.

Breanna: Not only did we fall in love with the city, the people, and the value, there is such a politically-engaged community here and it’s a Southern city. We’re both from the South: She’s from Florida, I am from Texas. Those are states that are clearly criminalizing and targeting queer and trans folks. But we also know that those are states that are full of queer people and have robust organizers and mutual aid network – and I really missed that. Richmond to me kind of reminds me of what it was like growing up in Texas in a Southern city, but also looking around you and seeing so many people like you or [who] share values with you, [it] makes me want to build a better city or state. I feel like I can easily plug in to the city, and that’s exactly what we did.

Narissa: I think about that day a lot. We got married in our home, our first home together. We got to share the moment with our closest family and friends. I just remember throughout the night, every time the door opened, some best friends would walk in – the people who always show up for you and be there for you.

Breanna: It was a blast. It was fun. It was the best night. It was such a celebration. Let’s get married again.

Narissa: We had Obergefell but we also didn’t expect to see Roe v. Wade overturned. Now, there’s a new sense of urgency. We have the best shot [we’ve had] in decades to overturn [Virginia’s same-sex marriage] ban, especially this year at the 20th anniversary of when the ban on same-sex marriage was put into our Virginia constitution.

It’s important to remind folks that this is really about honoring, respecting, and valuing the people we call neighbors in our everyday lives. It’s about loving each other and creating safe communities where we all can thrive. It’s about respecting our fellow Virginians. It’s about love and wanting our state to recognize it and to value it just as much as any other marriages.

Narissa: Every registered voter in Virginia is getting chance to decide on marriage equality this November. There may be people who voted 20 years ago for the ban who may have changed their mind. There may be voters who weren’t even born when the ban on same-sex marriage was voted on 20 years ago.

Our Commonwealth has changed so much. We’ve created so much progress over the years since then. The fact that we get to decide and vote on the amendments this November is reflective of how far we’ve come, that we care about our neighbors, that we care about our bodily autonomy, and that we care about people reentering society having their rights to vote.

I am an immigrant. I didn’t grow up in America. I got my citizenship and was only able to vote after that. To know that in a couple of months, I get to vote about the dignity of our relationship, that’s a beautiful thing.